Ripple Effects

Photo by Kerem Karaarslan on Unsplash

I thought I’d be relieved at the end of National Blog Posting Month, not because I’m tired of writing (never!), but because I wished the times were lighter enough to have given more of my heart to what I’ve shared. But I want to end this month on a note of gratitude.

A few weeks ago a friend texted me saying, “Look at this video of your niece!” I opened the text expecting a video of one of her cats. Funny enough, though we met long ago, what really catapulted our friendship was cats. After my brother adopted our first family cat, Kai, I randomly began an Instagram series called “Where’s Kai?” Apparently, the series was motivation enough for her and her three children to adopt one of their own. And so began the cat sisterhood.

Not long after, while shopping at PetSmart for some cat food, she saw another cat for adoption and texted me, “Should I get him???” to which I instantly replied, “DO IT!!” Shortly after that, my family adopted a second cat, Captain, and eventually I felt like our home needed a little girl, and I adopted my own beloved Karawiyah.

This whole backstory was only to highlight the fact that the strongest relationships I have somehow consist of people who recognize the value of cat communication. Because all my solid text threads—either with this friend or my family—are basically exchanges of our own cat photos/videos or random cat memes. Occasionally, we sprinkle real life conversation somewhere in between. So when this friend texted me a video, noting my “niece,” I assumed she was referring to her eldest cat. But when I clicked on the attachment, I watched a moving video of her daughter giving a speech and I got teary-eyed for two reasons.

First, I was so proud of my niece. Actually, every time my friend talks to me about her daughter, I feel a sense of restoration of hope. Sometimes, I even see a bit of my childhood in her, and it makes such an impression on me.

Second, when I realized she saw me as an aunt to her daughter, it felt both emotional and honorable in a positively overwhelming way. This friend is one of the handful of people in the world who actually respects my decision to be child free. She’s never once asked, “Are you sure? Don’t you think you’ll change your mind? Don’t you want to experience this joy?” as if those of us who choose a child free don’t know love, joy, or satisfaction. And even with this respect to my life autonomy, this friend still doesn’t operate under extremes the way others have. Like being shocked or confused when I offer to babysit, or play well with kids, or melt at a cute baby. Instead, this friend made me an honorary auntie to her precious daughter without using it as an opportunity to test my life decision. That meant everything.

Sometimes people do the most innocent of things and without realizing create a lasting positive impact for someone else, and I pray that we continue this human tradition. It’s utterly beautiful. Last week, I was at an event and I ordered a drink when the young man I’ve seen around the community, who was at the register said, “Thanks, Dania. Your order will be ready soon.” I laughed and I told him, “I was just about to ask how you knew my name and I realized, name tag!” He replied, “Well, yes, there is a name tag, but there is also the fact that a few years ago you did something for me at a community event that made me feel very appreciated.” I was shocked. I remembered the event he was talking about vividly, but I don’t quite remember what I did for this man, but I hope one day it comes back to me. More importantly, I hope that I always leave a good impression on everyone I meet, no matter who or where or how.